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Archives for August 2011

Event: Departure Etiquette

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Photograph Credit: Flickr (Nate42)

Have you ever been to an event where you are not sure if you have stayed long enough or have over-stayed your welcome? Timing can be a tricky call. In dealing with arriving etiquette last week, we looked at four different events: wedding, dinner party, open house, and birthday party. Continuing with these four event types, let’s consider the etiquette associated with timing your departure.

Wedding

At the end of a wedding ceremony, guests remain seated. After the wedding party and the families of the bride and groom have made their exit, guests may rise and depart unless the bridal couple or ushers dismiss by rows.

Regarding the wedding reception, if the invitation required your response and you indicated that you would be attending the reception, please arrive at the reception. If your invitation required a response and you failed to accept or reject that request, please do not attend the reception. The reception seating and food arrangements are made based on the guests’ responses.

If you attend the wedding reception, be prepared to wait for the bridal party. Use your time wisely to interact with others as you graciously wait for the reception to begin. With some receptions lasting 3-4 hours, it is acceptable to make your departure after the cake has been served.

If you are having a great time, then plan to stay to see the happy couple’s parting. As you exit the reception hall for the couple’s getaway, be prepared to leave. Once the bride and groom are on their way, the reception has ended and you are expected to depart.

Dinner Party

Remember that your host or hostess has spent money, energy, and time to prepare for this event. Your presence is expected from the appetizer through the dessert. In kindness to your host, please plan to linger a bit before taking your departure.

If the event is going well and your hostess welcomes your company, then remain up to an hour after dessert. At that time, prepare to depart. If your hostess again wishes you to stay longer, then you can choose to depart or to remain. Just giving your hostess the option to ask you to stay is very polite. You do not want to over-extend your welcome.

Open House

When the invitation to an open house is extended, the time frame is stated, e.g. 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. Please be considerate of your host and hostess and depart no later than the ending time, e.g. 4:00 p.m.

Though the event hours may be over, there will still be cleaning operations that will commence shortly after the end of the event. If you extend your visit, then others will be inconvenienced. Please be considerate and leave at the designated time.

Birthday Party

For a birthday party where the departure time is listed, e.g. 9:30 – 11:30 a.m., plan to leave within 5 minutes of that time, e.g. 11:25 – 11:30 a.m. For a child’s party, where you bring your child, leave, and return to pick up, please arrive between 11:15 – 11:25 a.m.

If you know you will be late, please inform your host or hostess as soon as possible. Activities have been planned for your child at the party, but a late arrival by you is inconvenient and inconsiderate to the host/hostess. In accepting the invitation to arrive on time, please also plan to depart on time. Your host will be most grateful.

For a birthday party where only the beginning time is indicated, plan to leave within 1-2 hours after the cake has been served unless you are requested to stay longer.

These are just four types of events where knowing how long to remain and when you are expected to depart assist the guests as well as the host and hostess in executing a successful event. May you be informed of departure etiquette for your next wedding, dinner party, open house, and birthday party. Happy partying!

Question: At events, do you prefer to leave early or stay late? Please add your answer to the comments.

Don’t Like It; Shape It Up!

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At the end of the day, I enjoy getting my journal to record my thoughts, the things my children say and do, and the events of the day. This evening ritual gives me an outlet to release my day’s adventures, and then I can get a great night’s sleep. On nights I do not journal, I can lay in bed thinking of the day’s events or mauling over a problem, which is less restful for me.

Recently, I noticed that I was not writing often. Being in the habit of writing for the past 6 years, I wondered if had lost my desire to write. As I considered my change of heart, I reached for my journal. Immediately, I became discouraged. As I looked at the journal, I began to understand why I had not continued to write.

My journal was no longer inviting to me.

When I completed my last journal, I went to my cabinet to find that I had used my last pretty book. So, I went to the school supplies cabinet and chose this black and white composition book.
Though very practical, this book did not fit my preferences. With an uncomfortable and uninviting journal, I had distanced myself from recording my daily events. Once I realized that my lack of writing was not because I had lost interest, I quickly found this journal (inexpensively) that works for me.
I love my new journal, let me tell you why:

1. Small size. Unlike the composition book, I can put this journal in my purse. When I am waiting or resting, I can whip out my journal and write for a few minutes. I love having my journal with me.

2. Spiral bound. Where I had to crease the composition book to keep it open, I can flip the pages in my small journal to the page I need.

3. Colorful. The cheerful coral color makes me smile, unlike the black and white print on the composition book.

4. College-ruled paper. My little journal has the college-ruled sheets. Since I have very small handwriting, I prefer the college ruled paper. The smaller lines give me enough room to write without lots of empty space. The composition book had wide-ruled sheets, and my handwriting became very messy as I filled the white space.

5. Holds my pen. With the spiral bound rings, I can slip my pen on the end to keep with my journal. With the composition book, I had to keep a pen handy. But with a 17-month-old running around who is curious about everything, I did not keep a pen with that book. To write, I had to go to my desk and get a pen when I wanted to journal.

Now that I have replaced the black and white composition book with my little, spiral bound, colorful, college-ruled journal that holds my pen, I am back to recording all these great memories. I only wish I had discovered my preferences a few months ago. 🙂

By identifying my dislike and shaping up my journal, I have been using my time wisely getting caught up with little bits of spare time. Though you may not have an issue with your journal, you might discover a dislike to a household task like laundry. If so, try shaping up with a new laundry basket. If you struggle with menu planning, find pretty paper on which to plan. Whatever your struggle, identify what it is you do not like, and shape it up. The results are worth it!

Question: What item have you disliked and shaped up (or will be shaping up)? Add your answer by clicking on the Leave your Comment link.