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Consider your Guest of Honor

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Photograph Credit: Flickr (Tracy Hunter)

When planning an event, the host works to organize, prepare, and execute a great outing. Having coordinated and planned many events, I find systems that work for me and usually try to repeat the successes and adjust the failures.

Though I have general guidelines for baby showers, birthday parties, and dinners with friends, I continue to discover and adjust with each event. I have learned that the best way to have a successful event is by working with the guest of honor.

For a dinner with friends, my friends would be the guests. I would plan a menu around their likes, allergies, and preferences. For a baby shower, the guest would be the mom-to-be. I would want to consult her before planning a Huggies diaper shower because she may opt for cloth diapers.

In preparing for a 4-year-old summer birthday party, I invited my daughter, the guest of honor, to go shopping with me for party supplies. Besides being elated to gather Strawberry Shortcake items, she got one-on-one time with Mommy. By having the guest of honor at the store to choose items for the party favors and decorations, I was able to discern what she likes about Strawberry Shortcake. Now as I plan the format and games for her party, I have a better understanding of what she likes and what games she wants to play.

As you plan your next event, consider your guest of honor. I understand that your style may not be the same or your preferences, but your event will be for your guest of honor. The better you understand your guest of honor and incorporate his or her interests into your event, the better your event will be.

I know it can be difficult, but use your time wisely and do your best. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone as you plan, organize, and execute a great event for your guest of honor. You will be so glad you did!

Recognize your Limitations

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After planning and hosting an event, I crash. The size of my crash is determined by how much energy I exerted to execute the plan. Since I pour 100% of myself into every task I undertake, I can quickly crash when the adrenaline ceases and the party or event is complete.

Having help with cleanup is not only a blessing, but a necessity for me. Thankfully, my husband Paul helps out. He can usually be found washing dishes after a Dinner with Friends event or sweeping the floor of the gym after a Sunday School Pizza Party and Gym Night.

Knowing that I need time to rest and re-energize after an event, I accept help that is offered. My children have learned that Mommy needs help, and they are willing to assist when asked to do so. On one such occasion, some friends came over to our house for a play date. All the kids played and had a great time. The older kids played down the hallway while the younger ones stayed in the living room playing with the kitchen and younger toys. During the play date, one of our infant guests enjoyed chewing on our plastic toys for the play kitchen. He was teething and forgot to keep the toys out of his mouth.

After our friends thanked us for a fun afternoon, they left. I needed a few minutes to unwind from the afternoon. My children had picked up a number of toys before I realized that I needed to clean all the kitchen items. Since my baby chews on the fruits and vegetables and silverware associated with our play kitchen and our friend had also put his mouth on them, I knew a good cleaning needed to be done. I was resting and came up with a great project for my two older children: wash the items and work together.

When I asked them to help with this project, they both were really excited. So, I prepared for their task:

  1. Gathered the supplies. One child retrieved the washing container while the other put all the kitchen items in the laundry basket. I then filled the container with warm soapy water.
  2. Prepared the floor. I setup their washing station with a towel on the hardwood floor.
  3. Gave specific instructions. Each child was to take a turn. On each turn, he or she was to pick one item, dip it in the soapy water, rub it clean, and place it on the towel.
  4. Demonstrated the process. As I explained the project, I washed the first item.
  5. Oversaw the progress. I allowed each of them to complete one turn.
  6. Allowed for execution. Once they each completed one turn correctly, I left them to work together.

When they finished this first part of the project – washing the items, I prepared for the finished product:

  1. Gathered the supplies. I rinsed out the container, refilled it with clean water, and gave them each a clean, dry dish towel.
  2. Prepared the table. Making sure they had plenty of room in which to work, I placed the water container in the middle and emptied the clean items from the towel into the water.
  3. Gave specific instructions. Each child was to choose an item, rinse it in the water, dry it with the towel, and place it away from the container of water.
  4. Demonstrated the process. I showed them how to rinse, dry, and place one.
  5. Oversaw the progress. After the demonstration, they each completed one item.
  6. Allowed for execution. I gave them space to complete the project.

When all items had been washed and dried, we all put the toys away. It was a win-win resolution at the end of an event. Besides practicing teamwork and sharing, my children giggled, laughed, splashed, and enjoyed working together. I was able to oversee the project without being directly involved, and we all enjoyed the afternoon.

Knowing my limitations and working through them has helped me to use my time wisely by preparing in advance to cope with the crash I experience at the end of an event. Do you experience a lack of energy after an event? If so, recognize your limitations and prepare in advance for clean-up help to give you time to re-energize.

Learning: Place Cards

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Photograph Credit: Flickr (Luigi Crespo)

Over the weekend, our family attended a large appreciation dinner. The hostess coordinated this event with over 800 individuals in attendance. Though the banquet was large in size, the hostess’ staff paid attention to the small details.

Having guests greeted at the door and informed of their seating arrangement kept the lobby from getting crowded and allowed easy access to the banquet room. After finding our table assignment, the place cards indicated our seat placement. These little details kept confusion at bay and allowed for a wonderful evening with friends.

When Paul and I were first married, we entertained a little. I remember making place cards for our table that sat 4 people. By spending a little extra time to print them off, I dressed up our table. Our events were not formal, but the place cards added a personal touch for our guests.

Fast forward to today where I am doing great to have the dinner ready on time. If I have help, then place cards get done. Like when my son wrote place cards for a dinner with friends. (My son enjoys writing and helping, so this project was perfect for him.) When dinner was served, each person quickly found his seat by following the place cards, and I enjoyed a break from telling everyone where to sit.

After attending the event last weekend and taking notice of the details, I will be adding place cards to our table when hosting an event with a meal. I really like the personal touch and being able to use my time wisely to serve the meal rather than directing guests to their seats.

Question: Do you prepare place cards for events that include a meal?

Event: Arriving Etiquette

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Photograph Credit: Flickr (Nate42)

Have you ever received an invitation with the time listed and wondered when to arrive at the event? Just because the time is listed does not necessarily mean that is the time to arrive. Let’s consider four different events:

Wedding

As you open a wedding invitation and read about the happy couple’s intention to marry on a predetermined day, you will find that the ceremony will be at said church at 5:00 p.m.  The time indicated is when the bride is scheduled to walk down the aisle. Since you will need to be seated prior to the bride’s descent, plan to arrive 15-30 minutes prior to the listed time. If you arrive at or after the listed time, you may not be granted entrance into the ceremony.

Remembering back to one ceremony Paul and I attended, we arrived 30 minutes early to find decorations still being placed and no attendees. At first, I thought I had misread the invitation. Locating the invitation in my purse, I consulted the time. The wedding was to begin in less than 30 minutes. So, Paul and I took a seat and waited. At the time listed on the invitation, the lights were dimmed and the preliminary elements began.

That event was the only wedding I have ever attended that truly began at the appointed hour. The bride made her entrance 30 minutes after the time listed on the invitation. Though it happens, this scenario is not the standard. My recommendation is to arrive between 15 – 30 minutes prior to the listed time.

Dinner Party

When you are invited to a dinner party at 6:00 p.m., plan to arrive between 6:00 – 6:05 p.m. Your host or hostess is preparing for your visit. If you have made arrangements to arrive earlier to help, then assist your hostess at the appointed time. If you have offered to help, but the hostess has not accepted your offer, then please do not arrive early.

Most hostesses have scheduled their time to have the meal prepared at the set time. If you arrive early, your hostess may not be ready and will feel the need to entertain you rather than complete her preparations. Please be considerate of your host by arriving at or a little after the time given.

Open House

Receiving an invitation to an open house event, you will notice the parameters for the time: 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. Your host or hostess is offering this event where you are welcome to arrive between 2:00 – 3:30 p.m. Give yourself a minimum of 30 minutes to interact with your host and hostess and enjoy the benefits of the event they planned.

Please do not arrive 5 minutes before the end of the event (without extenuating circumstances). Not only is this behavior rude, it is also disrespectful to your host and hostess. Since your host has taken the time to invite and prepare for your attendance, your lateness ignores the kindness extended to you. Please plan and arrive no later than 30 minutes before the end of the event.

I have attended many baby showers with an open house time frame and have found arriving too early means sitting around waiting for others. Usually I plan to arrive around the middle of the time frame. In this case, I would arrive around 3:00 p.m., allowing time to visit, participate, and exit within the framework of the event.

Birthday Party

In the invitation, the host usually sets a framework for the party. If so, then please arrive within 5-8 minutes of the scheduled time. If this party is for children, then the host or hostess probably has a planned schedule. Arriving late may cause the host or hostess to adjust the schedule to accommodate you. If you get lost or know you will be late, please inform the host or hostess of your situation.

If the invitation only lists the start time, then plan to arrive within 5-8 minutes of that time. Your host or hostess is expecting your arrival before commencing the activities.

These are just four types of events where knowing when to arrive will help the attendees as well as the host and hostess in executing a successful event. The window of time to arrive at these events is between 30 minutes prior to the appointed time and up to 8 minutes after the scheduled time. Taking note of the type of event and the etiquette associated with that event will keep you arriving within the allotted time to fully enjoy the planned activities.

For more information on party etiquette, you can visit Syndi Seid’s Advanced Etiquette. She even has an Etiquette Tip of the Month. Come back next week for etiquette on departing from these same four events.

Question:  What do you do when you arrive early to an event? To add your answer, please click on Leave your Comment at the end of this post.

Event: Departure Etiquette

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Photograph Credit: Flickr (Nate42)

Have you ever been to an event where you are not sure if you have stayed long enough or have over-stayed your welcome? Timing can be a tricky call. In dealing with arriving etiquette last week, we looked at four different events: wedding, dinner party, open house, and birthday party. Continuing with these four event types, let’s consider the etiquette associated with timing your departure.

Wedding

At the end of a wedding ceremony, guests remain seated. After the wedding party and the families of the bride and groom have made their exit, guests may rise and depart unless the bridal couple or ushers dismiss by rows.

Regarding the wedding reception, if the invitation required your response and you indicated that you would be attending the reception, please arrive at the reception. If your invitation required a response and you failed to accept or reject that request, please do not attend the reception. The reception seating and food arrangements are made based on the guests’ responses.

If you attend the wedding reception, be prepared to wait for the bridal party. Use your time wisely to interact with others as you graciously wait for the reception to begin. With some receptions lasting 3-4 hours, it is acceptable to make your departure after the cake has been served.

If you are having a great time, then plan to stay to see the happy couple’s parting. As you exit the reception hall for the couple’s getaway, be prepared to leave. Once the bride and groom are on their way, the reception has ended and you are expected to depart.

Dinner Party

Remember that your host or hostess has spent money, energy, and time to prepare for this event. Your presence is expected from the appetizer through the dessert. In kindness to your host, please plan to linger a bit before taking your departure.

If the event is going well and your hostess welcomes your company, then remain up to an hour after dessert. At that time, prepare to depart. If your hostess again wishes you to stay longer, then you can choose to depart or to remain. Just giving your hostess the option to ask you to stay is very polite. You do not want to over-extend your welcome.

Open House

When the invitation to an open house is extended, the time frame is stated, e.g. 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. Please be considerate of your host and hostess and depart no later than the ending time, e.g. 4:00 p.m.

Though the event hours may be over, there will still be cleaning operations that will commence shortly after the end of the event. If you extend your visit, then others will be inconvenienced. Please be considerate and leave at the designated time.

Birthday Party

For a birthday party where the departure time is listed, e.g. 9:30 – 11:30 a.m., plan to leave within 5 minutes of that time, e.g. 11:25 – 11:30 a.m. For a child’s party, where you bring your child, leave, and return to pick up, please arrive between 11:15 – 11:25 a.m.

If you know you will be late, please inform your host or hostess as soon as possible. Activities have been planned for your child at the party, but a late arrival by you is inconvenient and inconsiderate to the host/hostess. In accepting the invitation to arrive on time, please also plan to depart on time. Your host will be most grateful.

For a birthday party where only the beginning time is indicated, plan to leave within 1-2 hours after the cake has been served unless you are requested to stay longer.

These are just four types of events where knowing how long to remain and when you are expected to depart assist the guests as well as the host and hostess in executing a successful event. May you be informed of departure etiquette for your next wedding, dinner party, open house, and birthday party. Happy partying!

Question: At events, do you prefer to leave early or stay late? Please add your answer to the comments.