Photograph Credit: Flickr

With the arrival of the last week of summer, I am taking a moment to reflect, review, and re-evaluate my goals. Towards the beginning of the summer, I shared my summer goal to get to know my children.

As I have worked to spend time alone with each of them daily, I have grown to love them more. Though I still get frustrated with them, I tend to understand them better and their way of “helping” me.

I am grateful for their help, but it is not always helpful. By showing them what would be helpful, I am teaching them and spending more time with them.

Using time wisely depends on my priority. If getting the load of laundry finished must be done and my daughter wants to put together a puzzle (at the same time), then I have learned some options I can take:

1. Decline my daughter’s request

In declining to put the puzzle together, I usually have a reason. For example, if we are about to eat, then I may decline because puzzles on the table will need to wait until after the meal. Sometimes she will need to put away her other toys before getting out a new toy, like a puzzle. While she is working on another task, I can complete the load of laundry. Then, maybe we can find another place to work on the puzzle.

2. Accept my daughter’s request

Leave the load of laundry and put together the puzzle. I could then return to the laundry when we finish. This option has not been very successful because my daughter never wants to finish one puzzle. The request of “Mommy, can you help with a puzzle” really means, “Mommy, will you work on puzzles with me for the next half hour.”

If I left the laundry that long, then the clothes would be wrinkled. I would then be using my time ironing clothes. Of all my household duties, ironing is my least favorite. Though I know how to iron, I am not proficient. The articles of clothing are less wrinkled when I am done, but still wrinkled. Knowing this fact, I really need to get the laundry folded.

3. Compromise my daughter’s request

Having chosen option 1 and 2 with mixed results, my favorite choice is to compromise. This option works consistently for my oldest daughter. Since she CAN put the puzzle together on her own, she really wants Mommy’s attention. Here’s how I accomplish both tasks:

• Go to the table (since little sister does not stay out of the puzzle pieces) and ask my daughter to lay out all the pieces right side up. While she is working on this task, I return to the couch to begin folding the laundry.

• When she gets pieces right side up, then I help her sort the pieces into two piles: outside pieces and inside pieces. After she is underway, then I return to the clothes. I usually have all the hanging clothes laid out by the time she finishes this step.

• Return to the table and assist in assembling the puzzle. I usually remain until the puzzle is finished. Then she wants to work on the next puzzle. I will again have her lay out all the pieces right side up. I will then return to the couch and continue folding the clothes. The process continues until the load is complete, and then I work on the puzzles.

In giving her attention with instructions one at a time, I am accomplishing both tasks. Having tried numerous ways to work with my middle child, I am finding out the source of her requests – getting Mommy’s attention. As I spend time with my children, I am learning more about them and how to best nurture and “train [them] in the way in which [they] should go (Proverbs 22:6).”

My summer goal is perpetual, but I am off to a great start. In addition to knowing my children, I was able to get my home de-cluttered, reorganized, and deep cleaned (only once). In reflecting on this summer, I have grown in my understanding and am ready to take on more goals for the fall.

Question: What are your goals for the fall? If you feel comfortable doing so, please leave a comment with your goals.